Most of us hate conflict. We avoid it and don’t want to discuss it or speak up. This story in 2 Samuel 13 is an example of of the reason why we need to confront. In this story, David did not confront Amnon after he raped his half-sister. Absalom, another brother, became very angry at Amnon and eventually hated he so much for what he did to his sister that he devised a plan to kill him. David did not confront Absalom either for killing Amnon. The result was devastation for all three of the children involved. Amnon was dead. Tamara lived in despair and desolation for the rest of her life. And Absalom ran away and lived in hatred.
David grieved the loss of these children but did not take any action to confront the situation. When we do not confront, hatred and anger occur, grow, and eventually separates relationships.
In many families who do not confront a great divide occurs. Families split and avoid each other. Too often I hear of parents not associating with their children or children deciding to remove themselves from their parents. Toxic relationships devastate families and friendships.
The goal of confrontation is to resolve relationship in a hurting situation. Matthew 18:15-17 “If your fellow believer sins against you, you must go to that one privately and attempt to resolve the matter. If he responds your relationship is restored…”
Avoidance is not an option. We must go and speak to that person and attempt to resolve the matter. Our job is to go but we need to know that the response we receive may not be what we would want. This scripture says, “if he responds your relationship will be restored…”
From my own experiences of going, responses varied. Some responded in a positive way and our relationship was restored. Some pointed blame back but did receive my attempt of forgiveness. Others did not forgive and remained very angry. Years later, their hatred and anger had only grown.
But I had changed. I learned this. When we are obedient to the Lord, he not only goes before us but also teaches us along the way. Our obedience opens us up to his healing in places we did not even know we needed it. I have learned that when I do not avoid confrontation, healing occurs, restoration takes place, and peace takes over where fear previously existed.
We are called to go. The Lord will take care of the rest. Where do you need to go? Take God’s lead and do it regardless of your feelings. Your own healing is waiting through each door that your fear of confrontation has prevented you from entering.
You can listen to my podcast on A New Level Awaits You on Charisma podcast network or on my new youtube channel. Learn how to use your gift of confrontation.